A holiday gift to you– my solitary craft skill.

⋅ Victoria Elizabeth Barnes ⋅

My mother is like a cross between Martha Stewart and Edith Head.

That outfit you drew on the back of an envelope? Conjured out of thin air?  Voilà.

Need a seven-layer, gold-leafed cake? Want it decorated with tiny, spun-sugar bluebirds?  Is it the middle of the night?  No problem.

DIY large bow.  Christmas decorations.  Indoor outdoor ribbon.  How to make a large bow to decorate your front door wreath or banister for the holidays.

If you said to my mother—look, tomorrow I’m having three-hundred people to my house for a huge Christmas celebration, and I didn’t plan at all and all I have is this Styrofoam turkey and some glitter?  You would get the glitteriest, sparkliest, most spectacular turkey you can imagine.  People wouldn’t even care that they couldn’t eat it because it would be so tastefully creative.

And I am like her vain and spoiled offspring who takes all the cakes and costumes and endless creativity for granted.

It’s not just that I lack technical skill.  It’s that I lack patience.  My irritation-indicator kicks…

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